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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Themed Post #2 - Compulsions -
(in no particular order)
- certain things I do have to be done in a certain manner...well, they don't 'have to' be done in that manner, it's just the way I've always done them...some are reactionary, and some are just idiosyncrasies...

#5 - Seeds

When I was little, I was really afraid of swallowing the seeds in fruit...yes, because I was afraid a plant would grow in my stomach...obviously, I grew out of this rather quickly, but I still do what I've always done...

When eating fruits with alot of seeds that you're supposed to eat, I generally take the time to chew up each seed before swallowing them...I obviously don't do this with things like watermelon and oranges...just with fruits where you're supposed to eat the seeds...

Like raspberries...and kiwi...and strawberries...

So man...these take FOREVER to eat...but I kinda like doing it...it's fun...especially with raspberries and kiwis...the seeds are big and they kinda pop when you bite them...plus this way, they tend not to get stuck in your teeth...

This isn't one of those things that I feel I 'have' to do, cuz I don't actually fear anything happening should I not do it...and it really doesn't relieve some kind of worry when I fail to do so...but I do greatly prefer to do it...it's almost fun...

posted by Herb 4:44 AM

Monday, August 09, 2004

Themed Post #1 - Irrational Fears -
(in no particular order)
- certain things scare the bejebus out of me...and most of them don't make sense...but some do

#5 - Clowns - 07/23/04
#4 - Drowning

This has to be one of my oddest fears...namely because I'm actually a very good swimmer...but I'm just really paranoid that while in the water I would somehow have all my limbs chopped off while in the ocean...or not be able to swim anymore...or just suddenly forget how to swim and then drown...

How would I go about forgetting to swim? no idea...I don't think it could actually happen...when I was little I was really afraid of drowning, but I still loved playing in the water...

Before taking swimming lessons with the city, I took lessons with YMCA for a while, and they were awful...when I was 3 or 4, one of my instructors literally dangled me over the edge of the deepend and just dropped me in, I started going under and randomly flailing...she had to jump in after me and save me...it was pretty bad, but I obviously got over my fear of deep water and learned to swim...

However, if I was say lost at sea...and had to swim a bajillion miles back to land, THEN I'd fear drowning...purely due to exhaustion...to be out there all on your own, hopelessly helpless...slowly becoming dehydrated...the waves lapping over you...

Oh man...drowning really scares me...

posted by Herb 3:56 AM

Thursday, August 05, 2004

The things you want in life can be tricky...you can go through however many years thinking, dreaming and longing for one thing, only to have reality spin your tale in the complete opposite direction...and despite hating what's happened at the moment, in the long run, it may well be for the best...

A Blessing In Disguise if you will...

A couple of years ago, my family was truly falling to pieces...uncles and aunts were at eachother's throats...my grandfather was making crazy threats to his own flesh and blood...divorces and separations were laid down as viable options...everyone just stopped getting along with one another...and as disfunctional as my family had always seemed to me, I'd never imagined it would get this bad...

But then everything changed...my grandfather had a heartattack...

And at the time, we were terrified over what would happen...at worst, he would pass on, and the family would drift further and further away...but long story short, everything turned out for the best...siblings banded together in support of a sick old man...resolutions were forged after histories were discussed...my grandfather started eating healthier and just being more careful with his diet and exercise...and the family just, grew and became stronger...

And just...it's almost horrible to say this, but that was the best thing that could have happened to this family at that moment...

Sometimes, life has a funny way of righting itself in ways you can't expect or predict...pain is a part of life...we all go through it and we all deal with it...but what doesn't kill you, doesn't always make you stronger...some people are broken by the realities of change...but it's how you pick yourself up sometimes that dictates how you're going to come out of any situation...

Blessings in disguise...recognize them for what they are, or you may just be missing out on the pleasant surprises of life...

So smile...and watch your step on the way outt...

posted by Herb 2:36 AM

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Updated (06|14|05)

"There's a moment in my mind,
I scribbled and erased a thousand times,
Like a letter never written or sent,
These conversations with the dead,
I used to be a sentimental guy,
Now I'm haunted by the left unsaid."

Ben Folds - Sentimental Guy

Off of: Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman (2005)

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