- In My Head -

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  • - Song(s) of the Moment -

    Updated (06|14|05)

    Foo Fighters - In Your Honor

    The Brunettes - End Of The Runway

    - People, -
    - Places and Things -

    Ada
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    Ebaumsworld
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    Thursday, December 30, 2004

    Good Luck Exploring The Infinite Abyss...

    You've got to take risks in life...it's as simple as that...

    If you go through life playing it safe, how are you ever going to know what you're capable of? Aren't you essentially just letting things be? There's a difference between living life and just existing...don't you want to have truly lived?

    Even when things don't go your way, at least you tried...at least you ventured something in the hopes of gain...

    Things in life are rarely free...you've got to work for them...you've got to risk for them...and you've got to want them badly enough...and it'll be worth it...

    If you never put yourself out there, you'll never find out just how much you can have...it's true that you're at your most naked, your most bare, when you just give into everything like that...when you lay it all on the line...but isn't that what makes all this so worth it? That we're given the opportunity to want and to desire things...that we're fortunate enough to have these chances to take advantage of?

    It's in the absence of those chances, that you realize all you could have...and it shouldn't be like that...that whole "not knowing what you have until it's gone" is a crock...

    So much is happening in the world right now...and I can't even bring myself to comment on it...in the light of tragedy, I don't think it's enough to be thankful for all that you have, but it's also important to be thankful for all you can have...

    If you read that as a justification for greed or material wealth, don't speak to me...

    Sometimes, I cannot begin to understand how you work...

    posted by Herb 4:06 AM


    Wednesday, December 22, 2004

    I Diagnose You With Stupidity...

    I am finished exams...this makes me happy...I am not happy with how they went, but I am happy with the fact that they are over...

    Man, I've gone through validity and reliability co-efficients up the wazoo the last week with ed psych, personality psych, and test/measurement all wrapping up...however, I totally wasn't thinking about how good these tests are as tests...the main thing that dawned on me is that you actually need good marks for these graduate programs, haha...obviosly I knew, but I'd never really even thought about it, but thank goodness most are based on a standardized test and your GPA from your last 2 years (luckily, I incidentally began trying harder last year)...

    I miss the days when passing things was good enough...I know sooooooo many people who are still like, whatever...I passed the course...it's NOT ENOUGH anymore...which makes me angry...cuz I used to be one of those people content on getting by...not so much angry about having changed, but angry that I needed that change...

    I've been thinking alot about this whole teaching thing lately...I know don't 'not-like' it...and I know I'd be good at it...so why not try it out, right? I mean...it's so rare that you find something that you can both do and enjoy...so I think when you are afforded such an opportunity, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a chance...

    What bothers me is the negative notions that people have about teachers...as a profession, it really doesn't receive the recognition it should...I mean, look at the teachers we've had over the years...they've brought us where we are...they've inspired us to continue on our paths and strive for that much more...

    I don't know what I'd like to teach yet (if in fact, I would like to)...but I was talking with a friend of mine awhile ago, and he very apparently and condescendingly asked if I was seriously thinking about being an elementary school teacher...before questioning the value of such people...

    I mean, dropout rates are getting better...but they're still awful...kids need someone to direct them at a young age, and show them the worth and value of education...they need to be made to understand that learning is worthwhile in itself AND for the opportunities in life that it provides them...you can't wait for kids to get to high school to learn such things anymore, cuz by then, many have already dropped out, and many of those remaining have already given up on this whole learning thing because it means nothing to them...

    But if all goes well, I don't need to deal with this for another couple of years...it's just upsetting thinking that people more often than not view teachers as the after-thought in careers...

    Wow...that wasn't meant to be such a long rant...movie time!

    Hmm...what to see this holiday season (in no particular order...it's just a numbered list for all you nit-picky bitches):
    1) The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
    2) Spanglish
    3) The Phantom of the Opera
    4) Blade Trinity
    5) Sideways
    6) Finding Neverland (only at BV, but I still wanna see it!!)
    7) I Heart Huckabees (is it still playing??)
    - so...who wants to come with for any of these??

    posted by Herb 2:29 AM


    Saturday, December 18, 2004

    Fall and Watch It Break...

    I had the most amusing little day...it started out pretty shitty...but then...

    1) Karmarrific!
    On the way to school, I was walking kinda with/kinda behind these 2 other people...sorta in a line, while crossing the first of 2 streets...first was a cute girl, then a big dumb looking jock, then me...

    So, it's mad slippery outside...and the girl PK's onto the sidewalk after we all cross the first street...the jock walks right past her and chuckles...he literally looks down at her, snickers to her face, then goes on his merry way...I, being the nice boy that I am, stop and ask if she's okay...we get her back on her feet, and continue walking along, about to start crossing the 2nd street, with the jock ahead of us...

    We start walking, and then he PK's onto the final street corner, hahaha...the 2 of us broke out laughing and finished crossing the street before parting ways...

    2) Now that you think I'm not a bastard...
    So, when I study at the library, I tend to go to the washroom alot...not because I pee alot, well, I do...but that's besides the point...anyhow, I go and wash my hands when I'm kinda stressed or upset, but only at the library...

    Anyhow, that was the longest lead-in EVER...so yeah, I go to wash my hands after studying for a while...I walk in, and see an extension cord running from the wall to one of the stalls...and I'm like, what the hell??...I go to the sink, and start washing my hands...and a big white guy who just finished peeing, comes and washes his hands in another sink, then we both go to the hand-dryers, located above the power plug...

    We both look down...then we both look at eachother...and then I pull the plug outta the wall...

    Guy in stall: "uh...hello? hello? I think you've accidentally dislodged my power cord"
    Us: (quietly giggling like little girls)
    Guy in stall: "can you please put it back in? I can't work in here without it"
    Us: (laughing our asses off)...then we walk out of the washroom...
    Me: "that was fun...take is easy"
    Big white guy: "yeah man, you too..."

    That made my day...

    3) Chas, Margot, and Richie...
    I just finished watching The Royal Tenenbaums...for, I dunno the howmanyth time...I love this movie...it maded my day again...

    I really wanna watch The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou now...

    Instead of the "Newsteam", we should be Team Zissou...any takers?

    posted by Herb 11:57 PM


    Thursday, December 16, 2004

    Chapstick is the New June Cleaver...

    That means...absolutely nothing...I would seriously like anyone to try and make sense out of that...

    So, I'm supposed to be studying right now...evidently, I am not...I oddly enough, find that I am most productive and thoughtful when procrastinating...and in looking through others' writings, this seems to be a trend which has afflicted many others...so, does procrastination lead to creativity, which in turns brings about entries...OR, does creativity lead to procrastination which results in blogging? remember, correlations do not infer causations...now, it may seem like no one cares...but that's only because no one does...

    Moving on...I am horribly bored and kinda sad/lonely right now...stupid studying in an empty house...

    I was seriously considering making up an imaginary friend just now...more specifically, an imaginary girlfriend, haha...I was going to kill time by planning our next imaginary date on a date yet unspecified (I was thinking next Monday night, after my last final)...[cue the making fun]...

    I'm listening to the Cure's Six Different Ways right now...a great song from a great album (Head On The Door)...and there's a line in it, which I had oddly thought of as "Six sides to every lie I say, It's that American boys are gay"...but it's apparently:

    "Six sides to every lie I say,
    It's that American voice again,
    It was never quite like this before,
    Not one of you is the same..."

    Sometimes, we give our perceptions too much credit...we start seeing smiles that aren't smiled...we begin to hear things we want to hear...we begin to feel without there actually being something there...sigh...

    Bored...sad...lonely...

    posted by Herb 1:32 AM


    Friday, December 10, 2004

    Wonderful Awkward...

    This whole exam time really isn't as bad as it used to be...it's likely due to the fact that I'm very on top of things at the moment...but everything just seems so easy and calm...granted, I have yet to begin exams, but things are just breezin by...I really don't like the fact that I'm finishing on the last possible day, but it just gives me the time to work through the books...the thoughts in my head...and just everything...

    So all is good right now...I've been worrying needlessly for a little while now...I've had this strange feeling of impending doom/disaster lingering over me for maybe 2 weeks now, but nothing's gone wrong...in fact, alot of things are really falling into place...

    I thought that it have to do with my courses and graduation, which totally freaked me out...I talked to Mike 2 weeks ago, and he'd found out he'd chosen a couple of the wrong courses, so he had to change his entire second semester or he'd be able to graduate, haha...so yeah, I thought that might have been it, but nope...I just talked to mine, and she said I'd done an excellent job of selecting my load...yeah!

    So just in case, I urge you to go see your academic counsellor...don't be like Mike...haha

    Now, back to the books so I can do kick-ass on these exams...then, to figure out what doom and disaster awaits me! wheeee, I can't wait!

    On a final note, the psychologist Carl Jung spoke of the shadow archetype which held the deeply rooted dark desires and thoughts of people...for who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...the Shadow knows, haha...ahhh, I've been laughing at that thought in my head for 3 years now...

    I should one day become a professor...and teach a course called Pop Psychology...it'd be such a fun course to teach...oh, the things I could teach you about psychology serving as a basis for fictional pop culture figures and icons...

    And...I'm offfffff...watch your step on the way outt...

    posted by Herb 11:27 AM


    Monday, December 06, 2004

    Hello, Move Right Along...

    I can't believe it's already December...in a week, I'll begin finals...nine days thereafter, I'll be finished my second last semester of my undergraduate university career...

    How time flies...I was talking to Erin on the bus home the other day, and we were both just thinkin that it seemed like only yesterday that we were frosh goofin 'round Deli...not knowing a thing in the world...

    All these worries of what to do after all this seemed so far away...but here I am, on the brink of it all, and I'm still wondering if I've made the right choices...one thing I've come to understand though, is that you've got to be sure of where you are...you've got to be confident in yourself, and what you've done...

    Hopes and dreams for the future, and those we choose to surround ourselves with, will get us by...it's never a bad thing to think yourself capable of more...to strive for another degree of personal growth, despite all that you've already accomplished...these aren't self-indulgent fantasies while denying who you are...they're beliefs about your own abilities...that you can be more than what you are...

    So go out and continue to dream big...but live life along the way...and never forget what you've left in your wake...

    Off to study! wheeeeeeeee...peace out kiddies...and watch your step on the way outt...

    posted by Herb 2:40 PM


    - In A Nutshell -
    the entry in short...

    (Updated With Entries)

    Settling In...

    - Lyric of the Moment -

    Updated (06|14|05)

    "There's a moment in my mind,
    I scribbled and erased a thousand times,
    Like a letter never written or sent,
    These conversations with the dead,
    I used to be a sentimental guy,
    Now I'm haunted by the left unsaid."

    Ben Folds - Sentimental Guy

    Off of: Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman (2005)

    La Website

    - All you'll ever want to know about me is contained within the depths of this blog. Enjoy -