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Saturday, July 31, 2004

People go through life searching for meaning...it only makes sense to make something of our time on earth, and give it significance...provide it with direction and purpose...life can't mean nothing, and thus the lives we live and the manner in which we live them need to matter...if not to anyone else, to ourselves...

So by my book, things in life happen for a reason...we aren't ruled by the laws of fate, but there is certainly rhyme and reason to the things that happen to us, and the manner in which they occur...we're tested each and everyday...emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually...and in living life rightly with heart and determination, we pass these tests...we move onto places and situations we're meant to deal with...ones we're certainly capable of handling...afterall, something (if not your own will) has led you to this point...

Our lives are the ultimate dramas...complete with grand spectacle and setting...when you feel awful, isn't it so fitting that it's pouring rain outside...your very environment, like the setting in a novel, bends to your every whim and emotion...

...But then the sun comes out...providing you once more with the turning point in the film...where your hero sees past the misery and pain, and finds the bright new day awaiting him...we've got to be prepared to find that silver lining...it will always be there, but you have to allow yourself the chance to be happy again...

The sun is up and shining now, after one of the darker mornings of late...but now, we're ready once again for life to play out in front of us...the next test is just around the corner...now's not the time to dwell on victories and the things that they have cost us...our time is too little and too precious to only look backwards...another test is coming, and we've got to be prepared to face it head on...

In getting to this point, you've just passed one of your bigger tests, and with flying colours, might I add...and I'm proud and honoured to have seen you to this point...go out and live your life...and focus not on what has happened, but on the tests and challenges yet to come...but never forget all that's behind you, always remember what has brought you to this moment...and never stop looking for that shining sun...

You have our love and support...now go out and do something with it...

Bye...for now...

posted by Herb 2:04 PM

Thursday, July 29, 2004

It's odd dealing with changes when it comes to people...

Not only when the people you've known your entire life start becoming different people...but also when the ones you're so used being around are no longer there...or when new people enter the fold...

You start to question life without them, and what life was like before them...you've gotta evaluate what they mean to you, and consider what you're willing to do in order to keep them as close as they are now...you need to think through how things will change in terms of group dynamics, and not only how it'll affect the both of you...

But ultimately, distance is still distance...the space apart redefines your friendship and strains whatever relationship you hold...it's definitely hard and you're likely to never be the same again...

Frankly, I've never done well with change...I don't think I've had anything change for the worse, cuz afterall, it's just a part of growing...whether together or apart...but it's just dealing with the process of change that I hate dealing with...

Whether it's through changing schools...people moving away...people passing away...or just a lack of communication...it's hard to deal with...but if you're able to make it through, you're all the stronger for it, and I truly believe that it'll be reflected in your relationship...

So the important part is to have faith...not only in the other person, but in your relationship as well...that it can endure and hopefully grow...and after that realization, to simply work earnestly at it if you truly believe that it's worth it...

posted by Herb 3:51 AM

Monday, July 26, 2004

I've been listening to this recording of Oasis at this year's Glastonbury Festival in the UK...and it's got me thinking...

Artists and stuff always say how it's so great that fans sing along at their concerts...but just hearing the sheer volume and response of this crowd, it's enough to put you in awe...that your music has touched so many people, that a single song you put out 9 years ago is still remembered word for word...hell, I still remember all the words from those 3 singles off Morning Glory...

It's so weird thinking this was released at the beginning of grade 9...

posted by Herb 1:30 PM

Friday, July 23, 2004

Themed Post #1 - Irrational Fears -
(in no particular order)
- certain things scare the bejebus out of me...and most of them don't make sense...but some do

#5 - Clowns

Now, I'm sure most of you know by now that clowns really do scare the hell out of me...now, I don't quite know why that is...I'm sure many of you have seen Stephen King's IT...it's not because of that movie...well, not entirely I don't think...I was afraid of clowns before seeing that movie, but I won't rule out the possibility that it simply made it worse...

Last summer in Montreal, we saw the scariest clown...he wore a light blue/white checkered suit...he had raggedy grey 'hobo-hair'...he had a sad face painted on...he was REALLY old...his eyes and face in general were all droopy...and he just sat by himself and stared obsessively at little girls while chain-smoking...isn't that the most terrifying image of a clown EVER??

It's just that...I think there's just something very very wrong with grown men feeling the need to paint faces on and play with small children...aside from the obvious pedophilic implications of such a hobby, it's just really creepy...

I dunno...just, in general I'm really not comfortable with disingenuous people...I'd rather the world be a much more straightforward place to live in, and have all this cloak and dagger bull be over and done with...y'see, when I see a clown, that's what I see...I see a person hiding and being fake...pretending to the world that life is full of smiles and balloon animals...

But what are they hiding? no, in my head they aren't sad clowns underneath...they're psychos...

Mebbe that movie IT affected me more than I'd like to believe...

posted by Herb 1:47 AM

Monday, July 12, 2004

At 21 years, most people have yet to truly accomplish anything...they're still looking for direction in life, they're still looking for where they want to be, and they're still looking for who they want to become...so in these respects, I'm not alone...thank God...

But still...it's odd knowing you've yet to make your mark...it's certainly quite humbling...

I mean, sure you have friends...you've done things that seem to be important to you...but you've yet to truly live out that defining moment in your life...now, I'm not talking about some life-altering catastrophic event...where you single-handedly determine the fate of the world as we know it...

I'm talking that point in your life where you've validated yourself...where you've made that type of difference or impact...where everything you've done has led up to that moment and you can now say I'm a somebody...that I was here, and that I meant something to someone else...

So I know I'm still young...and I know I have sooooooooo long to go out and be somebody...I just can't wait to get it over with, y'know...cuz I know this sounds stupid, but I've got alot of people to prove wrong...and I know it shouldn't matter that much to me, blah blah blah...

But still...

posted by Herb 12:25 AM

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Nothing whatsoever to say...until now, haha...

Which saying holds more true?
a) birds of a feather, flock together...
or
b) opposites attract...

Hmm...I won't use names...I have a friend who recently started going out with a guy...I'm going to name them MJ and Peter, haha...

Right, so I've known MJ or a long time now, and I think I know her pretty well, and what kind of people she's suited to...she's loud, quirky, funny...all smiles, fun and games...

And now, outta nowhere, she starts dating this guy...and I don't want to be negative about things, but the first word that sprang to mind when I first met him was 'creepy', haha...and I know that sounds horrible, but...man, he's so creepy...

And it's not just me...other people find him so as well...he NEVER smiles...when we go out, he only has private little conversations with her, and doesn't say a word to the rest of us...and he weirdly stares at her alot...it's...creepy...haha...

But they're getting along great...she's happy as hell about things, and I know that's the most important part...but it really does make ya wonder...

So I don't know...that was the longest, most pointless rant ever...I guess all I'm saying is, who are people more suited to?? people like them (no, not EXACTLY like them)...or people who are quite the opposite? (i.e. El Creepy)

posted by Herb 10:19 AM

- In A Nutshell -
the entry in short...

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- Lyric of the Moment -

Updated (06|14|05)

"There's a moment in my mind,
I scribbled and erased a thousand times,
Like a letter never written or sent,
These conversations with the dead,
I used to be a sentimental guy,
Now I'm haunted by the left unsaid."

Ben Folds - Sentimental Guy

Off of: Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman (2005)

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